by Agnes N.

5 Ways to Win Her Heart on Valentine’s Day

1. Spring for the prix-fixe menu downtown. Women are biologically programmed to be attracted to money– especially on Valentine’s day.
2. Send your pledges to serenade her in bed. She’ll pretend to be embarassed, but she’ll totally gush about it to her friends later.
3. Send her flowers. No, carnations are not appropriate. No, don’t send a single rose. Man up, don’t cheap out.
4. Clean your room. Nothing says “I love you” like clean sheets and an extra pillow.
5. Grin and bear it. Sure this may be the most excruciating day of the year, but act like a champ, and you’ll surely be rewarded.