In these tough times, like General Motors and the nation’s largest
insurance companies, we must look for other people to take care of us.
Here, I will unveil the fastest growing career track for young women:
Being A Second Wife.

1. Be 24: Rich men love to leave their wives for twenty-four year old
women. Why? Because their wives are forty-four, which might as well
make them dirt’s cousin. Rich men love dipping in the preverbial
kiddie pool. Being twenty-four is old enough that the billionaire you
attach yourself to won’t face the stigma of being a “child molester”
but young enough that you’re boobs haven’t sagged into your shoes.

2. Be adept in taking care of already-grown children: The children are
the second wife’s toughest obstacle. Not only will the second wife
share the same graduation year as them, but they will often call the
second wife’s character into question by calling her a “golddigger” or
a “straight-up-ho.” However it’s best to employ a calm and patient
demeanor with your future step-daughter. Make her look crazy, as to
turn her father against her. If burdened with a future step-son, it’s
best to screw him into silence.

3. Be a Notary Public: After drugging him, and making him change his
will, it’s best to make sure everything else looks legit.