by Luba Smolensky
With the magical time that is rush behind us, and the magically-horrible time that is pledging ahead of us, it’s important to keep your schedule in order. Luckily for you ladies, Luba Smolensky has the inside scoop on sorority pledging/group bulimia events.
1. MEET YOUR SISTERS
100 + girls in 1.5 weeks…READY….SET……GO!!
2. BAKING NIGHT
Sigma Kappa– fudge brownies
Theta– hash brownies
Phi Sig– brownie chugging contest
3. PHILANTHROPY
Alpha Phi– making some granny at the nursing home feel better about being almost dead
SDT– expressing support of the Israeli cause by sending Hanukah gelt to the troops
4. SUNDAY BRUNCH @ COMMONS [ oh because that’s classy..]
“ OMFG I totz left my bra at his chapter house last nite! lol”
5. CRAFTING NIGHT
XO– friendship bracelets…duh!! We are fucking sisters for life biatch
Tridelt-decorate fanny packs… wait I’m not even kidding.
AXO– brew beer
6. SUPERBOWL PARTYYYY WOOOOOOO
Because we believe in gender equality! Yea strong women! ……mmmmmm who’s playing? The giants!?
7. VALENTINE’S DAY
Party @ chapter house!!!!
Dress code: anything red or pink OBVI
Events:
-massive bon fire [that’s right ladies—feel free to bring any item that makes you think of that loser lover who gave you gonorrhea and left you passed out drunk at Allegro’s]
-chanting that in no way is reminiscent of Wicca
-iconic worship of Celine Dion
8. INITIATION
***Please wear a white dress because we really really want to believe that you baby panhels are still pure despite what we read about you on juicycampus….and on the guys’ bathroom stalls.