Look at your roommate.
Now back to me.
Now back to your roommate,
Now back to me.
Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he ever showered, he could smell like me.
What’s in his hand?
A ticket to that thing you bought for him!
Look down, now back up.
He’s paying you back in quarters.
Hear that noise?
That’s the sound of him waking you up an hour before your own alarm.
Look down, now back up again.
He is now in your room, taking your socks while you sleep.
Swan dive! Into the shower.
He is now pounding on the door, wanting to poop while you shower.
He just saw you naked.
You’re not a horse.