With all this post-abroad free time on my hands, I’ve been watching a lot of Alias and dreaming about how cool it would be to be a spy. But when I really think about it, I would be a terrible spy.

1. I would announce my job on Facebook

2. I would add “ninja moves” and “secrecy” to my LinkedIn page

3. I would snapchat on my missions

4. I would Instagram on my hunt for villains

5. I would  schedule my missions around concerts and performances. “Taking care of business in New York won’t work for me this weekend, I need something in LA so I can see Sarah Silverman perform.”