by Rish Chaudhuri

In our groundbreaking series “Broetry: Confessions of a Bro”, we get down and dirty with what makes these special individuals tick through the esteemed art of Broetry. Today, resident Bro Brody McBrobraah, the only Bro ever to have written any type of poetry or engaged in a remotely intellectual endeavor, touches our hearts with his evocative poem “Cock Block”.

Cock Block

Party time it’s Friday night
We pregame in my little room
Sipping on some Natty Light
Pretending that it isn’t shite
Soon we’re buzzed and ready to go
Oh my goodness, is that a whore
No, it’s the JAP from next door
I heard she does it on the floor

Go to a frat, meet a bro (Braaaaah!)
My friends are hot girls, so in we go
Drink some more, I can’t stop
There’s more pussy here than in a petshop!
Beer goggles on, wingman by my side
I’m sure I’m gonna get lucky tonight
Look around the place, what do I see
That girl in white is digging on me
Stealthily I make my move
Jaguar sleek and silk like smooth

Suddenly my vision is obscured
By an assortment of girls
Some of whom looked more like men
“You’re really sketch, get away from my friend”
That’s what the masculine one said
I saw an opening, and tried to make my escape
Little did I know it was already checkmate
The devious women had come with a plan
To protect their kind from all types of man
Confidence shattered, ego in shock
I was the victim of yet another cock block
As I gazed at the circle of drunk girls together
I wondered, would it be like this forever
Alone again, lost in the fight
It’s time for lotion and RedTube, just like every other night.