Cate Paulson C’22 has a secret.

After coming out as a lesbian three years ago, there’s still one fact about herself that she can’t bear to tell even her closest friends…

Paulson doesn’t ship Casey and Izzie on the Netflix original series Atypical.

It wasn’t always this way. In fact, Paulson used to compulsively scroll through #Cazzie TikTok edits on her way to class. But everything changed when she watched seasons one through three of Atypical in full.

“I was like, ‘Oh shit, I think I might be Team Evan,'” she said of the moment she finished season three. “I vividly remember sitting on the couch as white-hot fear pulsed through my body. I kept thinking, ‘This can’t be right. This can’t be right.'”

Paulson said that while she believes relationships between people of all genders are #SuperDuperValid, she’s never rooted for a female character to end up with a guy rather than another girl before. She even listed shipping queer characters as one of her top five personality traits, along with wearing green flannels, drinking oat milk, collecting tarot cards, and recounting how she used to shield her eyes when she walked past Victoria’s Secret.

“It’s like, I know, with the dearth of true-to-life adolescent sapphic representation showcasing gradual character development, the #Cazzie relationship is groundbreaking,” Paulson said. “But Evan is just so nice, like a golden retriever…or a weighted blanket who also wants to be an EMT.”

Paulson admitted that none of her friends have actually watched the series in full either. Instead, they skipped to the second half of a YouTube compilation called, “Atypical Except It’s Just Casey and Izzie Being Super Gaaaaay.”

Before she tells her friends about her secret, Paulson wants to do a little more soul searching to make sure she’s certain about how she feels.

“I found some of Izzie’s behavior toxic, but is that the reason I’m not rooting for her?” Paulson said. “Maybe I’m just jealous that Casey’s kissing a girl who isn’t me.”

If possible, she’d like to try telling Brigette Lundy-Paine and Fivel Stewart that she just got jealous, then do a forehead promise with each of them to resolve her feelings.

When asked whether she looked forward to seeing the conclusion of Sam’s story arc in the newly-released Season 4, Paulson looked puzzled.

“I’m sorry,” she said, “I don’t remember who that is.”