by Walker Hawkins

1. Fight somebody weaker and/or smaller than you (preferably a child or grandparent)

2. Never look at your own reflection

3. Google “cancer”

4. Attend a Wharton Accounting Society meeting

5. Join a business fraternity; realize you’re not alone (and enhance your resume in the process)

6. Befriend someone with a uni-brow

7. Go to Facebook and search for “Walker Hawkins” (Some guys like unicorns…)

8. Buy a Blackberry

9. Become attracted to the same sex

10. Avoid Asians (they’ll only make you feel stupid)

---