Ten worst pains for a Penn student

We all know that Penn has a reputation for wearing down the students. But how exactly does the University get inside their heads? We recount ten common pain-inducing experiences that everyone will experience – better prepare yourself!

10. Going to a University rated below a state school – rankings are the only thing that matter, and this travesty brings tears to everyone. A real case study of state violence.

9. MATH 114 – pretty trivial once you get the hang of it though. Otherwise, your days are numbered.

8. Realizing what happens to the bench – let’s be honest, you probably sat on it.

7. Eating at Commons – only for the truly desperate. Ecologists call this the Tragedy of the Commons.

6. Watching a Penn football game – the play is so bad it should be illegal.

5. Taking the “existential despair” class – it’s all in the name.

4. Getting cold called in class – why does my STAT professor do this :-[

3. Submitting an assignment at 12:01am – I SWEAR THE INTERNET STOPPED WHY IS AIRPENNNET SO BAD

2. Childbirth – the pesky feminists won’t let us forget this one. It’s almost as if politicians don’t acknowledge the maternal mortality rates in this country.

1. Getting rejected from a Wharton club – your career is literally over and you shall forever live in shame.

Honorable mention – getting harassed by random clubs on Locust

Honorable mention – walking to DRL at 8:30 to study thermodynamics

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