1. Except with your freshman year roommate; wasn’t he/she/it an asshole?
2. Like most parties sponsored by Penn, nobody comes.
3. …while probably crying
4. Carleton: “It’s pronounced ‘Porsche.’” Hillary – “No, it’s pronounced Porsch-ae!”
5. Cocaine is an expensive habit, she can get off her high horse and use crack like the rest of us.
6. Didn’t you notice I said I’m humming “The Prince of Egypt” Soundtrack?