Thank you for your interest in taking PSCI 499 – Advanced Question Dodging. Below is the application, which should be completed and returned to the political science department.

Your Name: What’s in a name, anyway? Can we focus on the more pressing questions of this application?

School: When we will as a university give up this obsession with schools? Wharton, The College, Nursing, Engineering, Drexel….we’re all students of some school aren’t we? A school of thought, a school of fish, a school of bigger fish…we are all pupils in the school of life!

Expected Graduation Year: I refuse to even consider a graduation date until I fulfill my promise to this university to complete my PSCI major requirements (hint hint).

1. Why do you want to take this class?
You know, I get asked this on just about every application I fill out, and I always answer the same way. Who knows why anyone wants anything in this digital age that we live in? For now, instead of asking why I desire what I do, I want to ask the more significant inquiry: what do I desire. And the answer to that is to get into this class. Now that’s an answer we can all relate to.

2. What sort of learning environment do you feel suits your educational needs best?
I prefer the sort of learning environment that will put American students like me back into the classroom. Your classroom.

3. What inspired your interest in political science in general?
If you’d like, I can sit here and tell you every little thing that inspired my interest in political science. But that would take up multiple pages, and I know you, the very attractive application reader, don’t have time for that. And I respect that. It is this mutual respect and understanding that will allow us to bypass the partisan politics that plague this once-great application process.

4. How much time would you be willing to commit to the class outside normal lecture hours?
Why are we asking questions about ‘time’ and ‘commitment’ when babies are being aborted every 6 seconds in this country? Priorities people!

5. What do you hope to take from this class?
To tell the truth, I’m not thinking about what I can take from it. Instead, I’m asking myself what I can give to this class. And the answer to that very important question is ‘myself’.

6. Any additional comments regarding this class?

Please attach your résumé to this document and return it to kgoodall@sas.upenn.edu before August 24th.

The truth is, résumés and deadlines can only do so much to aid the application process. And isn’t that what matters most? If I were to attach a résumé (and today’s date was prior to the application deadline) the only thing I would have on it is ‘Dedicated Applicant to Things – 20 proud years and counting’. That’s the only title that means anything of real importance to me.

Thank you in advance for your consideration.