When we found out about the tunnels that run beneath the Quad, we knew we had to investigate. Here’s a list of what we found:

• A squirrel the size of an obese cat
• Donald Trump’s final exams
• A halal truck (still $6, stay strong $5 halal on the corner of 38th and Walnut)
• A fully-staffed spa
• An animatronic Ben Franklin robot which repeats lesser-known quotes (e.g. “Knowledge without education is worth about $300 thousand”)
• Offshoots connected to College Hall, Hill, and Amy Gutmann’s house in New York (this last one took 3 days to fully investigate on a boosted board)
• List of students who will be accepted into Classes of 2024-31 (hint: its 80% legacy)
• The Chamber of Secrets (only accessible to Wharton students)
• 30 years of Commons leftovers
• The Spelunking Club HQ
• Missing bricks from Locust Walk
• The room where the RA’s throw down
• Hopes and dreams of college freshmen