Arthur my dear,

I hope you had a good morning in class, and made it to lunch time alright. I’ve packed you a peanut butter and Swiss sandwich because I know it’s your favorite. I also threw in an extra snack-pack for you to apologize for last night. Your father and I were just really upset when we had walked in on you doing, well, you know. We meant what we said, but we shouldn’t have yelled so much. Your father used to do some pretty ridiculous things himself, truth be told. Although– as far as I know– he didn’t make a habit of doing that. You’re going to go blind if you keep that nonsense up. There was a little boy named Craig who was in my class in 7th grade who kept doing what we saw you doing he went blind. He literally doesn’t have any eyes anymore. You also have to watch out for the hand injuries, you could really tweak something if you aren’t careful. I spoke to Mrs. Callahan, and she said that Roger told her that this is apparently something that all the boys in your grade have been experimenting with for the past few weeks. I just wanted to say it stops today. I don’t care if you wrap it in a sock or do it in the bathroom, you’ve got to stop stabbing yourself in the eyes with sharpened pencils. It’s really an awful habit.

Anyway, hope you have a nice afternoon. Remember to turn in your field trip money. I don’t want Mrs. Robblebottom calling me up again.

Mommy loves you,
A.T. Piskai