A Punch Bowl Parody of Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Call Me Maybe.”
I just threw up what the hell
Hope you don’t notice the smell
I looked to you as it fell,
Typical Saturday.
I think I just saw a dick,
Some Drexel guy I just kissed?
I really gotta piss,
Just like last Saturday.
My hair you were holdin’,
As up I was throwin’
Some dude, I was blowin’
Where you think you’re goin’, baby?
Hey, I’m pretty drunk,
And this seems hazy,
But I would prefer,
You call me, shwasty?
It’s hard to look right,
At you baby,
When I’ve drank this much,
So call me, shwasty?
Hey, I just met you,
And this is crazy,
But we’re in college,
And I’m just shwasty?
And all the other boys,
Try to third base me,
But I would prefer,
You call me, shwasty?
You said you play basketball.
I only wear extra-small
I’m like talking to a wall.
Typical Saturday.
My Bid Day tanktop is teal
Promise to never eat veal.
Two tic tacs for a meal.
Just like last Saturday.
Quad key I was holdin’,
As up I was throwin’
Black dress, common coldin’
Where you think you’re goin’, baby?
Hey, I just met you,
And this is crazy,
But we’re in college,
And I’m just shwasty?
It’s hard to look right,
At you baby,
When I’m this drunk,
So call me, shwasty?
Hey, I’m pretty drunk,
And this seems hazy,
But I would prefer,
You call me, shwasty?
And all the other boys,
Just think I’m crazy,
But my bffls know,
That I’m just shwasty?
Before you came into my life
I never saw plaid.
Shut the hell up Chad
Oh wait that’s you Brad.
Before you came into my life-
I gotta pee so bad.
No like really bad…
Oh crap don’t look Brad!
It’s hard to look right,
At you baby,
But I’ve got makeup,
See, not that shwasty?
Hey, I just met you,
And this is crazy,
But we’re in college,
And I’m just shwasty?
And all the other boys,
Try to replace me,
But screw them right?
Yeah, I’m just shwasty?
Before you came into my life-
Wait do I look fat?
And you should know that
Jen looks like a rat.
When did I talk to you last night?
Who the hell is Brad?
I don’t remember that.
Must have been, shwasty.