10.  This list is in descending order even though it isn’t building towards a satisfying conclusion.

9.  This list decided to become a writer instead of going into medicine like its parents

8.  This list makes no mention of hot topics like Carly Rae Jepsen or The Hunger Games

7.  Except for those references above

6.  You elected this list President based on its platform of “change” and 4 years later it hasn’t done shit

5.  This isn’t a Cracked article, so it won’t be about something cool like “The 10 Most Mindblowingly Badass Transformers That You Didn’t Know Were Secretly Jewish”

4.  You’ll be especially disappointed by number one

3.  This list chose to join the school play instead of trying out for JV football like you told it to

2.  You just found a pack of cigarettes in this list’s backpack

1.  The author ran out of reasons