As the time comes to figure out housing for next year, a few groups of students have submitted proposals for new residential programs that they would like for the 2013-2014 academic year.

Bob Marley Appreciation Floor

Goals: Legalize!

Why Should This Program Be Residential?: By allowing us to live together, you help foster an environment of… philosophers of life… who can chill whenever without going outside.

How will this program benefit the residential house it’s located in?: We are willing to teach others our ways, and the benefits of our lifestyle, as long as they bring chips. We will also probably spend a lot of money at the house café.

 

Video Game Floor

Goals: Share our appreciation for gaming with other students who game, maybe even have real people to game with.

Why Should This Program Be Residential?: By making this program residential, we may be able to have human interaction, knowing that there are other people on the floor who share our appreciation of games and silence only broken by the sound of fake gun shots.

How will this program benefit the residential house it’s located in?: We will teach each other secrets and techniques of games. We would also like to learn how to interact with people, specifically girls. We would be more than willing to teach other house members about our games… especially girls… we really want to have some social gatherings with girls.

 

Homeless Floor

Goals: Have air conditioning during Philly’s hot weather, and heat during the winter.

Why Should This Program Be Residential?: We would really like to have somewhere to live.

How will this program benefit the residential house it’s located in?: We can teach students about life on the streets, and the best places to live around campus if you’re homeless (surprisingly, it’s not by Commons Underground).

 

Racist Floor

Goals: Foster a community of people who are often marginalized on Penn’s campus and teach tolerance toward racism.

Why Should This Program Be Residential?: Penn racists need to stick together, we are often ostracized from campus clubs, and having a safe place for all of us to live together in peace would be welcome.

How will this program benefit the residential house it’s located in?: We can teach other residents that if you say you don’t hate anyone, you can’t hate racists either.

 

Meat Lovers’ Floor

Goals: Consume even more meat on a daily basis than we do now, funded by Penn.

Why Should This Program Be Residential?: The more meat, the merrier! By having a whole floor of meat lovers, we can share generous meals together in the hall lounge, and no meat-haters will be bothered by the smell of our cooking.

How will this program benefit the residential house it’s located in?: We would take non-floor members with us on our frequent trips to Tony Luke’s, and teach vegetarians and vegans the pleasure that is being a carnivore.

 

Heavy Substance Floor

Goals: Counterbalance the substance free floors.

Why Should This Program Be Residential?: We would like to foster a community similar, but opposite, to that of the substance-free floors, where we can drink without judgment, and not have any noise complaints from our neighbors.

How will this program benefit the residential house it’s located in?: Our floor would be really fun, and we would welcome any residents to come pre-game with us! Non-floor residents would be encouraged to bring limes and salt.