Hey everybody! It’s time to get down!
We’re bringin’ The Penn Boogaloo to town.
When it comes to the Boogaloo everybody knows
That it’s really simple. And this is how it goes:

Clap, clap, clap. Clap, clap, pivot, pivot.
[Respond in dance: clap, clap, clap. Clap, clap, pivot, pivot.]

Heel, toe, heel, toe, clap, clap, pivot, pivot.
[Heel, toe, heel, toe, clap, clap, pivot, pivot.]

Spin, clap, clap, spin, take it downtown, now!
[Spin, clap, clap, spin, take it downtown, but do so promptly.]

Spin, sashay, spin, double heel toe, clap, pivot.
[Spin, sashay, spin. Hurry up. Get to that second heel toe with those pudgy ankles of yours. Clap, pivot.]

Clap, clap, clap, pivot, heel, clap, pivot, toe, clap, spin, Taiwanese Bernie, spin, clap, clap, left, blue, green, right, 82!
[This is essentially a toned down version of the Hammurabi Ventriloquist. Simple, yet elegant.]

Wonderball, Wonderwall, Wonder Bread, kick!
[This is exactly what it sounds like.]

Pivot, spin, pivot, spin, clap, jump, clap.
[I still have no idea how you botched The Wonder Bread. I can’t get over that. You disappoint me so.]

Clap, clap, clap. Clap, clap, clap.
[Yeah, you better get that one right. Basically gave you that one as a gift.]

Spin, jump, spin, jump, jazz hands, five!
[This isn’t working out.]

Shimmy back, shimmy front, double time chicken dance!
[When I look at you all I see is the white swan. I have never seen you lose yourself. You can never be our black swan.]

P-E-N-spin, Warren Harding jive, clap, clap, jump, clap, pelican shuffle, land in step, N!
[Say P-E-N, spin, Warren Harding jive, clap, clap, jump, clap, pelican shuffle, land in step. I SAID LAND IN STEP! No wonder they kicked you out of ballet school. You thought it was because they didn’t make the leotards in your size, but face it, you’re just a fat uncoordinated waste of space. Say N.]

And that’s how you do The Penn Boogaloo!