Today’s guest column comes from our freshman midterm correspondent, Claudia Hogan, who wishes her beat was something other than exams.

Although midterms seem more like an ongoing state of being rather than one discrete week, we as a campus are out of the thick of it (for now). In case you’re already trying to forget the rock bottom that you hit a week ago, the Pennsylvania Punch Bowl is here to make sure you never forget that feeling of despair.

914: i coughed in fisher

914: i am public enemy #1

 

503: i haven’t showered in 4 days. I just keep alternating my sweatshirt so people think I’m clean.

 

631: theos, oz, or, apes?

303: weigle information commons.

 

650: i didn’t sleep in my own bed last night 😉

650: but then the janitor kicked me out of van pelt

 

781: Couldn’t find my Adderall so I snorted a pixie stick to get me through that last hour. Thank you, Halloween.

 

610: haven’t slept in 49 hours.

610: considering friending VP security on Facebook.

610: send help.

 

646: i read 100 straight pgs of russian lit and blacked out

646: i woke up in bed covered in granola bar wrappers

646: how was your date night??

 

404: I cried a lil on the walk home from fisher tonight. not even a low.

 

908: i just played “Eye of the Tiger” to have a study montage

908: but now it’s only 3 minutes l8r

 

817: i’m huing w/ the boy down the hall so I can borrow his calculator

817: it graphs

 

917: Sources: Wikihow, Yahoo answers, YouTube, the engineering students whose conversation I’m listening in on

 

240: I just beat my personal best in solitaire

646: is this why you wouldn’t come to owls w/ me??

 

215: what is the opportunity cost of going to the bathroom

646: how nice are the pants you’re wearing?