Mart Madness Round 1, East Preview

It’s time, folks! Mart Madness is here: which Mart has enough grit to make it all the way, for eternal Mart glory? Be sure to VOTE here!

Steve Martin VS Martin Short

  • The selection committee did an excellent job matching up two of the Three Amigos to face off in the first round. Martin, best known for his work in Cheaper By The Dozen 2, will come out strong, but expect Short to keep it even.


Kwik-E-Mart VS Pedro Martinez

  • Can Apu and the rest of the Kwik-E-Mart employees handle the former Red Sox ace? While Martinez did finish his career with a mere 2.93 ERA, that’s baseball, and this is basketball. Expect the Kwik-E-Mart to come through.


Martinis VS Martinelli’s

  • A clash between childhood juice, and adult juice. Who will prevail?


K-Mart VS WalMart

  • K-Mart might have better deals, but WalMart sells guns!


Martin Scorsese VS Martin Shkreli

  • Scorsese, a longtime tournament favorite, is back, and facing the new, hot Shkreli. Expect Scorsese to come out with some mise-en-scène-sational play that the ‘Pharma Bro’ just can’t treat.


Martians VS Martens

  • Have you even seen a marten before? Martians don’t stand a chance.










Minnesota Association of Rogue Taxidermists VS PetSmart

  • Will the “pop-art surrealists” defeat the global pet supplies giant? Let’s see if MART can tack together enough parts to end in a win!


Smarty Pants VS “That makes me smart”

  • Does not paying taxes while running for President make you “smart”, or does it make you a Smarty Pants? Look for Smarty Pants to come out hot, while “That makes me smart” spews nonsense whenever its opponent goes to the free-throw line.


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