Last week, the White House released President Donald Trump’s fake news awards, for excellence in completely false reporting. Lies, all lies. The President would like to recognize actual, real, completely accurate reporting about his administration and his accomplishments.
Here are Donald Trump’s Real News award winners:
- Fox and Friends— “I watch them every morning and they do a fine job telling me what I need to think about during the day. And that Ainsley Earheadt is a 10.”
- Kellyanne Conway’s inner monologue–“It goes so fast but I know the words jobs, economy, make, America, great, and again are all in there so it sounds good to me.”
- Kushner Family Holiday Card— “As I told Jared & Ivanka this year, there’s lots to write home about! #MAGA”
- Steve Bannon’s Dreams— “He may think he haunts my dreams, but I am actually the best dream haunter that probably has ever lived, and Steve knows this.”
- People who are saying things– “A lot of people are saying a lot of different things and if it’s nice about me it sounds real.”
- Sarah Huckabee Sanders— “What a load of brilliant truth she feeds to the lying media every day.”
- Republican National Committee– “They’re my bitches now.”
- Michael Wolff’s Fire and Fury– “It’s all real. Every single word of it.”