We came. We saw. We can confirm: these are the library bag check busts you wish you were there to see. The only times the Van Pelt search has ever paid off. 

5: A rat. Someone attempted to take one of the library’s rodent residents to domesticate as their pet and only friend (besides the mice already living in their Quad dorm). 

4: 15 La Colombe Coffees. Honestly, we get it. We out here ballin’ on a budget and nobody is supervising. :))

3:  A bag full of dildos. Simply put, it was hard not to stare…. Oh so very HARD. 

2:  Their shot (that they were shooting). A student opened their bag to reveal a single piece of paper with their phone number on it and winked at the bag attendant. In a follow up interview they told us how they went on a date with the attendant, swiped their credentials at dinner, and later broke into VP to sleep on the ~comfy~ sixth floor couch with access to the best bathroom on campus after midnight. That sly dog. 

1:  Actual stolen books. An English major actually tried to steal books. Can you believe it? Neither could we.

Keep an eye out next time your studying/scrolling through Instagram by the entrance; you may see some suspicious activity.