Top 5 Tips for Zoom Etiquette

With almost everything in the world shifting to an online alternative experience, one of the best things you can do to prepare is master Zoom etiquette. You might think that this is common sense or easy, but read these tips and I think you’ll find that you’ve ignored the most important features of impressing your classmates or interviewer over Zoom.

  1. Place your camera underneath your face. This amazingly flattering angle will be sure to impress with heavy eyelids and beautiful double chins.
  2. Show only your forehead or be visibly doing something else on the call. This is super important to convey that you are too cool for the zoom meeting just like you were too cool for school in 2nd grade.
  3. Do not smile. Smiles are annoying and zoom is a world of professionalism. Remain expressionless and you’ll impress someone with even the loftiest of standards.
  4. Keep speaking up very loudly anytime you have an opportunity to add something. The only way to be remembered is to speak up and answer, so feel free to cut people off and give the answer you know is correct.
  5. Mention coronavirus. Everyone needs to be reminded everyday about COVID-19, so mention it always with as much QAnon and antivaxxer knowledge as you possibly can. You’ll be educating the populace, so its basically community service.

Use these tips to be a top tier Zoomer & continue to put Boomers to shame.

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