“Don’t Worry Mom, I’m Totally #Thriving At Penn. Last Week I-“
- Went to Weingarten Centre to socialize
- Shopped at ACME
- Walked past three tourists sitting on the Franklin bench and said nothing
- Joined the Red and Blue Call Center (They told me it was like a family!)
- Pissed on the Perry World House welcome mat
- Fell off my stool to climb into my lifted bed and broke my ankle
- Dropped my pre-med dreams to do HSOC
- Fried eggs for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and a midnight snack
- Got waitlisted for an interview for a charity club
- Confidently misanswered the easy answer in class
- Called my mom to ask what I should have for dinner (I’m on a meal plan)
- Broke my leg jumping in a pool to show my friends that I’m cool
- Projectile vomited over my target rug (I’m a senior)
- Packed up my laundry and went home so my mom could do it
- Paid $50 to some guy on Reddit so they would drop ECON001
- Went to a Frat
- Got denied entry at a Frat
- Tried to wash my rug in the washing machine
- Fell asleep in every single class
- Shaved my roommate’s head while he was drunk
- Failed my first of 5 “midterms”
- Got woken up at 3 am by the fire alarm while half dressed and evacuated in a fluffy robe and slippers as hot people came back from frat parties
- Only cried twice listening to Kate Bush’s ‘Running up that Hill’
- Got called out by my professor for being 20 seconds late
- Got blackout, woke up to find myself bald
- Went home
- Ran out of breath walking over the hill onto locust from commons
- Went to a party, sweated a gallon, and then walked home
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