1. Free middle initial with every tuition payment.
2. Barbershop quartet is the preferred social unit.
3. Mascot is much less anthropormorphic.
4. Passed up your chance to meet a lot of interesting sweater vests.
5. Can dress either like a hipster, a prepster, or a scenester.
6. Ice Cube’s “You can do it” plays every time a hot chick walks into a room.
7. Veneral diseases cured with malaise.
8. Can’t pass up the chance to be taught by Russell Crowe and hope he asks you out to a picnic lunch.
9. Penn’s Bocci and Lawn Dart teams really not up to snuff.
10. Miss constantly reminding yourself you’re a rich white person.