I Love My Dad

After my last article, in which I described my various ways to destroy Amy Gutmann’s ego and to date-rape the scarred emotional wreck that surely would have resulted had my plans been successful, I enjoyed many letters of support and congratulations. While I expected to hear a little bit of anger from some miffed feminists, some disgusted readers, or from Amy herself, (none of which happened, by the way, which means I must have a mandate) there was one source of criticism that I did not expect: my dad.

After my article appeared, instead of getting a congratulatory or supportive phone call, I received the following e-mail from my father.


After reading the article several times and thinking about it upon my lunchtime walk, I surmise you may have crossed the line on this one. Yes, freedom of speech is a beautiful thing, but crapping in your own nest is not. There’s no doubt Prof Gutmann has seen this article. You may wish to consider:

• Write a sincere apology to Prof Gutmann
• After reflecting for several days, you realize the article could be received in a manner which you did not intend
• State the piece was written for laughs
• You did not mean to attack her personally, the piece was a satire
• Apologize if you hurt her feelings or caused her any pain
• The feedback you received has taught you a lesson about empathy
• Etc….
A follow-up personal visit would even score more points.

Please carefully consider the offensive prose in the future. Or at least publish under a pen name.
Perhaps this was an occasion where your small head trumped your large head? Though, it is creative. Where did you derive that perverse wit?



I thought that was pretty funny. I don’t really have a response for this other than… Love you too, Pop!

Leave a Reply