by Walker Hawkins

Last year, Punch Bowl gave a checklist for freshmen of things they need to do before the end of their first year at Penn. Well Punch Bowl is a sophomore now and there are some things you really need to get done before your second year comes to a close. btw, when I say Punch Bowl, I mean me.

1. Deactivate from your fraternity/sorority after you realize it did nothing for your social life
2. Lose your virginity (note: This is something you should do. I’ve already done it. I have sex all the time. Yeah I know it will happen eventually.)
3. Convince yourself that employers don’t care about what you do during your sophomore summer
4. Quit all Wharton clubs you joined to put on your resume (one year is more than enough time to talk about commodities)
5. Realize your Communications and Spanish double major is literally like setting fire to a pile of 2000 $100 bills
6. Try Gia Pronto (Although I am not female nor hot it is still an experience I would like to have)
7. Cure feline AIDS (It’s the number one killer of domestic cats)
8. Finally have lunch with that kid from your freshman hall who you’ve been avoiding all year because he still lives on your freshman hall
9. Stop listening to ska.
10. Just be you!*

*Caution: If you are currently being yourself and people hate you, ignore this point.