In honor of the 25th anniversary of the Wawa on 37th and Spruce, all of its friends have decided to wish it a happy birthday:
“You’re 25 years old! I think we both know it’s time you moved out of Stouffer’s basement.” – Chestnut St. Wawa
“Wawa made me the singer and man I am today.” – John Legend
“Fuck the McRib. Never change.” – Colonel Sanders
“Wawa has always been a place where the hoi polloi and riffraff can meet as equals. With dire consequences.” – Samuel Langhorne Clemens
“A very happy birthday to my top competitor on Penn’s campus – I can only hope to one day master the art of mozzarella sticks so successfully.” – Bobby Flay
“Dear Wawa, Happy birthday and thanks for supplying all the Sudafed!” – Charlie Sheen
“A huge ‘Happy Birthday’ to the Spruce Street Wawa where the sandwiches are so good I have trouble finding joy in anything else.” – Tina Fey
“That white bitch still work there? I always wanted to fuck her. Even though she’s probably dirt poor.” – Nelson Mandela
“I got my first authentic Philly cheesesteak there.” – Jay Leno
“I invented bifocals, the lightning rod, the Franklin Stove, the armonica, a map of the gulf stream, the odometer, and daylights savings time, but hands-down my proudest moment was when I thought up Wawa.” – Benjamin Franklin, Founder of the University of Pennsylvania
“Happy birthday Spruce Wawa. I miss your pretzels and queso almost as much as I miss my African Princess.” – Ghost Gaddafi
“Wawawawawawawa. Wawawawa. Wawawawa Wawa.” – Miss Othmar, Educator of Charlie Brown
“Happy birthday Wawa. Thanks for the wild 3 am shake runs.” – Barbara Walters
“They still got the gobbler? Holy shit could I go for a gobbler right now. Seriously. Give me the choice between a gobbler and a second shot at acting, and I’d take the gobbler.” – John Candy
“To the only place where I can feed my seven children for less than seven dollars: Happy birthday Spruce St. Wawa!”- Jon Huntsman Jr.
“Skeedily deedily doo, Wawa!” – Bill Cosby
“Japs and japs flatbread orders
pickles, lettuce, tattered dreams
they paid their isn’t, they charged their is
cashier smiles pleasantries”
–e.e. cummings
“Six championship rings later, and you guys are still the best! Happy birthday!” – Michael Jordan
“Someday, I’m gonna be just as old as you! Right guys? Anyone?” – TBowl
“What?” – Kim Kardashian
“Spruce Street Wawa, thanks for providing the filling for my annual mac n’ cheese ritual bath – and for keeping so quiet about it. Whoops, I guess this means the cat’s out of the bag!” – Amy Gutmann
“O’er the land of the free, and the home of the creepy bum who asks for 83 cents.” – F. Scott Key
“Um, so yea, this is silly, um…happy birthday I guess.” – Kristen Stewart
“I did not have relations with that Wawa…Happy Birthday (and there’s cab money on the nightstand.)” - Bill Clinton
“Happy 25th birthday! I got you exactly what you got me for my 25th.
Nothing, you asshole.” – Jude Law
“I have a new film idea! Bill Murray has a mid-life crisis, but realizes it’s okay because he can still go to Wawa. Title: Spuce and 37th.” - Wes Anderson
“Wawa, you’re the best! I could never get sick of you.” – Freshman
“Spruce Street Wawa, thanks for all that help back in May. We never would’ve caught him without you.” – Barack Obama, 44th President of the United States