The Top Eight Mysteries of Pretty Little Liars

Pretty Little Liars is objectively the defining show of our generation. This is because it has everything we love: drama, high school, gossip, blackmail, lesbians, and so much more. The show begins in Rosewood, Pennsylvania, with the death of Allison, the most popular girl at school. Her four best friends, the “Pretty Little Liars”, spend the entire show trying to figure out who killed Allison. In addition, the Pretty Little Liars constantly receive texts from a mysterious “A”, who blackmails them into performing specific tasks.

This show is incredibly suspenseful. Here are the top eight questions I have about Pretty Little Liars:

1) Who killed Allison?

Will the murder ever be solved? Will the Pretty Little Liars ever find out who killed their best friend? Is Allison still alive?

2) Why is everyone in Rosewood, Pennsylvania so attractive?

Is there some reason this city has a higher percentage of hot people? Is it mere chance that the Pretty Little Liars were blessed with an incredibly handsome English teacher? More importantly, would I be pretty enough to live in Rosewood?

3) When do the Pretty Little Liars do homework?

They are never seen doing actual schoolwork. Yet, they always have time to chase a hooded figure into a sketchy parking lot. Do you think they’re doing well in school? Should someone tell their parents? Have they found the secret to work-life balance? Why won’t they share it with us?!?!

4) When do the Pretty Little Liars eat dinner?

These four girls do a lot of chasing and fighting, yet they are rarely seen consuming basic carbs. Why don’t they ever eat? Don’t they need energy like anybody else would? Are these four girls superhuman? Have they discovered a new diet where you don’t need to eat but you can continue living? Will they ever let us know what this diet is?

5) For how long will they be in senior year?

These girls have been in 12th grade for about two years now. Is this legal? Should someone contact the Board of the school? Are they being held in senior year against their will? Or maybe the Pretty Little Liars are just really stupid?

6) Where are their parents the whole time?

Surely, their parents should be a little concerned when their daughters whimsically go to an abandoned warehouse on a school night. Are their parents just very negligent? Should someone call child services? Will the Pretty Little Liars ever be at peace with their family?

7) Why haven’t any of the Pretty Little Liars aged?

In every single flashback, they look exactly the same. In addition, they’ve looked exactly the same for about four years now. How is this possible? Do they just use really good skin cream? Is it Neutrogena? Proactiv? Do you think they’ll tell us which skin cream they use? Or perhaps they have an anti-aging potion? Why won’t they share it with us?

8) Why are they never seen applying to college?

These girls are in their senior year! Shouldn’t they be focused on applying to college? How do they find time to think about their future while also solving their best friend’s murder? Do they once again know the secret to work-life balance? Why won’t they tell us?!?! That’s awfully selfish of them.

Hopefully, some of these mysteries will be answered soon. In the mean time, I urge everyone to continue watching perhaps the greatest show to ever grace our televisions.

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