PHILADELPHIA, PA – A ragtag students group of students at the University of Pennsylvania were talking when they all noticed how indifferent they were to current events. The students, who chose to remain anonymous, were very proud of ignoring the paper, trashing all flyers, and choosing to abstain from voting in any student election. One of the students even stated “unless I or someone I know is directly involved in something, I tend to stay out of it. If you think about it, that’s the way it’s supposed to be done.” They soon realized that they were not alone in their indifference and decided to hold a massive rally for what is being dubbed “indifference pride.”

The “Rally to Spread Indifference” is to be held this Friday at noon by the sketchy pipe next to the LOVE statue. According to the Facebook event, the organizers will be giving out blank protest signs and dried up markers. The event will also host workshops on how to successfully unsubscribe from any and all UA updates. There will also be set locations for people to talk about how much work they have and how terrible the weather’s been.

“You know, to some people, this event may seem pointless, and that’s good — it’s supposed to be,” said another anonymous host. “If we leave this rally and nothing is shared and nothing in learn, then we would know that the rally was a success.”