Freshman Ezra Brooks might not have a any Spring Flings under his belt yet, but he can help you figure out which tank you should wear… above the belt?

Whether you want to craft the dopest motherflinging cashmere tank top knitted from the finest threads, or a 120-ton steel tank, the Punch Bowl has you covered. Read below to learn how to impress all of your friends with your creativity and resourcefulness.

1. Purchase 2 pieces of cloth from Jo-Ann fabric* or your local equivalent
2. Cut them using a knife into a tank shape
3. Carefully stitch the inseams, referring to the below picture.
4. Reinforce with a second stitch.
5. Screen print a design that has some dumb pun you’ll regret in a few weeks

1. Obtain 120 tons of cast steel from your nearest convenient hardware store, 8 wheels, a couple of wires, a rubber tank tread, and some screws.
2. Weld the metal together into the shape of a tank
3. Use the wires to put in a dope sound system. At least Bose level quality.
4. Screw some screws in the marked places. See attached photo.
5. Attach the wheels and wrap them in the tread. Bonus points if you use reverse spinner hubcaps.

*this is a paid advertisement for Jo-Ann fabric and their 2 fabrics for $5 dea