Being The Ideas Guy

Come on a mental walk with me. Imagine. Can you do that? Can you imagine? I mean really imagine something else. Something newer. Something better. What about this: can you imagine something even newerer or betterer than what you just imagined? I can. I’m pretty sure my imagination is so good I can imagine a new color. Can you do that? I just did. It’s a cross between blue and yellow that kind of reminds me of the color of tree leaves. I’m going to call it blellow. I have a vivid imagination full of ideas. Ideas for the future and the past.

Walk in your mind down Locust Walk with me. What is it missing? What should be changed? What if we replaced high-rise field with another fraternity house and called it Eta Rho Phi? We should call people you see a lot on locust walk your locust stalk-ers. People flyering should give you the option to replace the flyer they gave you in a pile anonymously farther down the walk to aid in recycling efforts. An a cappella show should use real instrumental music in the background of their show one time and not tell anyone. It should then use that scandal to become famous. Huntsman has a quiet study room, a computer lab, and a group study room, but they really should have an “I’m doing a phone interview and want people to know but not disturb me” room.

People like me are incredibly useful. Startups love me. Governments love me. I love me. Here’s an idea: I should write me a love letter from the perspective of the people that love me to remind me why I love to be me.

Perhaps you doubt my use. Allow me to demonstrate with a few choice ideas. I hope you can keep up with the rapid stream of mind-blowing wonder I’m about to provide.

  • All roads should’ve led slightly outside of Rome to help with Rome’s traffic patterns and to speed bypassing Rome to get from one part of the empire to the next.
  • The Manhattan project should have been conducted in New England and made a creamier, not tomato-based atomic bomb.
  • Scary books should be called BOOks.
  • Scary movies should be called BOOvies. Murder mystery movies should be called WHOvies. Documentaries should be called TRUEvies. And when you watch a movie in theaters it should be called going to the NEWvies.
  • All frat parties are really just frat-party-themed and dressing tropical is really just dressing like a frat boy so a tropical frat party is still just a frat-party-themed frat party.
  • I created an app that is tinder but for hype men and rappers so that when you, a rapper, go to a rap battle in a foreign city you can bring along a local hype man who gets you and gets the city, to represent you.

Allow me to explain. I don’t see a normal world around me. I know not everyone is as gifted as I am (here’s an idea: give an IQ test as a birthday present – if you give it to someone smart, they’ll feel gifted).  But more people should appreciate the importance of what I am capable of. I see a world of opportunity. I am a world ripe for change (an ad campaign for a charity that donates fruit to under-served areas should use the slogan “ripen for change”). And I want to supply that change.

I want to provide the ideas to make the world we live in better. I want to provide the synergies necessary to make this place in which we live even betterer. Together with the people that enact my ideas we can make the location where I have my dwelling the most betterest.

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