Sessions Claims Forgot Papadopolous Because Name is “Very Forgettable”

In an open testimony before the House Judiciary Committee, Attorney General Jeff Sessions claimed he suddenly was able to remember a meeting with former Trump campaign foreign policy advisor George Papadopolous and then candidate Trump. Sessions claimed that he had previously been unable to remember because the man’s name is “very forgettable.”


Sessions went on to explain that there were many mysterious, unqualified men in the room with him and Trump that day, and with someone as “generic as George Papadopolous, it was very easy to slip through the cracks.”


Since Mr. Papadopolous’s guilty plea to lying to the FBI about contacts with the Russians, Jeff Sessions claims that he now remembers him because he caught wind of some Justice Department staffers discussing how fun it is to say the word, “Papadopolous” and suddenly, “it all came rushing back.”


Analysts admittedly are confused by this strategic approach by Sessions, as Papadopolous is clearly an extremely fun and memorable word that everyone loves to say. With this argument, experts say that there now is no possible way Sessions isn’t lying about SOMETHING.


Attorney General Sessions assured the committee that now that he realizes what a fun word “Papadopolous” is he will never, ever forget it again, and concluded with, “may I please go now?”

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