Wharton Gets Their Own CAPS Clinician, So?????

Starting November 6th, a part-time CAPS clinician will be stationed in The Snake Pit, alias Huntsman Hall, with one small catch: this clinician will only be available to students in Wharton.

Convenient, on-campus access to a mental health professional (not to mention free printing) may only be available for Wharton students, but few know of the school-specific benefits offered by Penn’s three other schools:


The School of Engineering and Applied Science

Aside from offering literal housing (because Engineers never actually leave the Engineering Quad), SEAS also reserves a specific bathroom on the first floor of Towne exclusively for engineers to go to bang their 3D-printed slam pieces.

The School of Nursing

All 395 female nurses and 5 male nurses in the Nursing school receive: personalized monochrome scrubs for the small price of $80 (what a steal!), a reasonable fee of $200+ for missing a clinical, an excuse to wear clogs, a cafe that does not accept dining dollars, creepy flesh mannequins, and free medical treatment from their equally unqualified peers running amuck with glucose syringes. If that’s not an enticing enough offer, men seeking sound “medical advice” will send you unsolicited photographs of their infected genitalia.

The College of Arts and Sciences

The College provides exclusive access to:

Um…  well I guess anyone can use that… huh, our resources can be used by anyone at Penn. Weird.

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