Breaking News: A disgruntled STEM student is suing Penn because multiple professors have assigned homework to be completed over Thanksgiving Break.

Of course, the first professor is arguing that assigning a 12 page long problem set that will probably take only 20 hours to complete is feasible to be done by the Monday after Thanksgiving break. That’s less than three hours a day! But, the student has three such problem sets from three different professors with similar arguments and two exams all for next week.

In the lawsuit, the student’s pre-law friend serving as their lawyer, who took on the case as pro bono charity work, argues that this should count as “cruel and unusual punishment” despite their client not being convicted of anything except poor scheduling.

The counter argument from the University is that if they got into Penn to begin with the student should already know all of this content and just be a complete genius. Then their life would be so easy and those problem sets could all be completed in the 2 – 4 hour plane ride home with enough time to maybe even sneak in a little nap. Also, they wouldn’t even have to study for their exams.

What a simple solution: just be smarter.