Top Ten Reasons You Should Date Me

by Walker Hawkins

1. Your boyfriend is already dead
2. I promise not to cry
3. I’m a level 56 Paladin
4. Our children will be gorgeous
5. I’m fluent in Sexy
6. I already know your schedule by heart
7. Your friends don’t know what they’re talking about…
8. Body hair is easily removed
9. It’s easy
10. It would validate what I’ve already been telling people for the past four weeks

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