We’ve all been there. Maybe you were living at home rent free for the summer (meals included) and were starting to feel the guilt. Or maybe it was the only movie playing at your small town’s shitty theater and boredom and their offer to pay for tickets AND $12 popcorn won you over. Regardless, you found yourself watching a new show or movie with your parents. Maybe it was almost enjoyable to begin with, but then it happened. The sex scene.
What do you do now? Close your eyes? Leave the room? Emancipate yourself on the spot? Fear not, prudish child, your pals at the Punch Bowl have both you and your immature eyes covered. Here’s a list of the best solutions for the next time you’re forced to watch a sex scene with your parents.
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Pull out your phone: It’s simple, it’s reliable, and the best part is that you can just pretend you didn’t see it, like you do with Canvas notifications or homeless people at Penn.
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Go to the Bathroom: A bit more on the conspicuous side, but it can really work wonderfully. Just make sure you don’t leave too late into the scene or else it may look like you’re actually enjoying the action too much.
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Fast Forward: Definitely the boldest option on this list, but fairly straightforward if you have the remote within arms reach. You might want to pocket this one as the “nuclear option” though. It is a blunt acknowledgement of the awkwardness. Save it for if the sex gets really intense or if your Dad starts shifting uncomfortably.
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Sit in Silence: Just accept it. The inescapable dread of sitting through a sex scene with your parents is a right of passage. This one will require you to be daring and unshakable, but you can do it. We all have and are stronger for it.
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Relax and Enjoy It: Technically this is an option. You could even give commentary. But, for it to work you must be bold, a bit insane, and most importantly, from the deep south. We’ve never tried this one out, and for good reason, but if you do please let us know how it goes.
This is a situation you’ll inevitably find yourself in sometime, so it’s best to be prepared. Pick whichever option is your favorite, stay calm, and always have a have a pillow or jacket on your lap.