Local Know-It-All Mistakes Facebook as a Suitable Place to Post his Opinions

This just in from freshman investigative reporter, Bart Buurman.

PHILADELPHIA, PA – Sophomore Brian Pappas (CAS ’16) confused his Facebook friends with people who would actually give a fuck about his opinions on the governmental shutdown yesterday.

A mere twenty-six minutes after posting the status, Pappas questioned whether aggressively shoving his opinions on the “blatant disrespect of checks and balances between the Supreme Court and Congress set forth in the Constitution” down all of his friend’s throats was perhaps an asinine notion, and would have been better posed in an environment more conducive for an intellectual circle-jerk.

“I thought I could provoke some healthy discussion among my peers about the pressing issues in the government nowadays, instead of with strangers on an anonymous online forum,” lamented Pappas in an overtly preachy and somewhat bitchy manner.

Brock Tipton (Wharton ’16), known colloquially as Brocky Balboa, shares that after meeting Pappas during NSO last fall, he has noticed that Pappas comes off like a “class-A douchenozzle” whenever he gets politically proactive on Facebook.

“I do three things on Facebook,” continued the Hard Brock Café, “Scout out hot chicks, post funny shit I find on Reddit, and keep up with Dragonville. I don’t give two shits about your thoughts on anything except how beast my Catalonian Fireball is.”

At press time, Pappas’ status had garnered no likes and one comment from Pappas’ aunt, reading “you get ‘em Bri! xoxox.”

Leave a Reply