Waking up this morning to find no gifts or letters on his bedside table, President Obama has spent the day dropping less than subtle hints about Presidents Day. Meeting the First Lady this morning, the President is reported to have said: “Morning Michelle! God, is it a beautiful February 17^th or what? What is this, the third Monday in February already?” The President was left speechless by Michelle’s response of “I guess so”.

The commander in chief proceeded to ask his daughters if they had any plans to go shopping since there were “some great sales going on for some reason”. Sasha and Malia both expressed interest and said they would most certainly try. However, when faced with the President’s meaningful glance and a muttered “Anything else?” they were nonplussed.

During a security briefing later in the day, the President is said to have asked John Kerry: “Hey, do you know when George Washington’s birthday is again?” Kerry responded accurately, saying “February 22^nd I think,” but was not sure what to say when the President then stared at him for a few seconds, as though waiting for something else.

At press time, President Obama was hunched over his computer refreshing the Google homepage to see if he’s “even worth a doodle”.