Oh Crap! It’s my Dance Floor Makeout on Locust!

I definitely shouldn’t have gone out last night, I am SWAMPED with writing seminar. It’s ok, I’ll just get to Fisher Fine Arts and read all day. It’s not thaaat much and I think I’ll be able to catch up. I just wish my head didn’t hurt this bad. What did I do to myself last night? I didn’t even drink that much, just a cup or two of that punch. It’s ok, I’ll just take a couple of Tylenol and everything will be…

Oh, oh crap. Oh CRAP! Fuck, that’s what I did last night! Oh God, what was I thinking? He’s so sickly and pale looking. I’m surprised he wasn’t glowing under the blacklights! Oh what was I thinking? What was Sasha thinking? Friends don’t let friends make out with Casper the Fratty Ghost. Oh that’s right, she thought he was really cute. I don’t understand her weird thing for Polish dudes, maybe it’s some kind of Slavic daddy issues thing. Wait, he’s walking this way! Oh no, oh why?!

Ok, just act casual, pretend like you didn’t see him. Look at the squirrel eating out of the garbage can. That’s interesting right? Wait, but not that interesting, he’ll know you’re just avoiding him. Ok so pull out your phone, text someone. Maybe Bridgette or Kelsey? Or maybe call someone? Oooohhh, call your mom! Wait, no I can’t I’m waaaayy too hungover for this shit and she’ll know right away. Ugh I’ve been looking at my phone too long, it’s too obvious. No one falls for the phone thing.

Maybe I’ll look at the skyline? Yeah its a pretty city right? Better than Omaha. Wait but does he know I’m from Omaha? Did I tell him? Does he remember? That bitch! Hooking up with me and forgetting my name and where I’m from and everything! What am I just a piece of meat? Wait, no, I never did tell him I’m from Nebraska. Now I feel kind of bad, suspecting him of that. Poor whatshisface. Is he looking this way at all? Oh shit, he is! What do I say? What’s his name? Oh God, I think it starts with a B. Maybe it’s Billy, Brendan, Bob, Beltcher, wait no that’s not a name. Bob’s Burger’s is such a great show. No, focus! What’s his name? Oh it was Kyle! Why was I stuck on B’s?

“Hey Kyle! I didn’t see you for the rest of the party.”


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