PHILADELPHIA, PA — Engineering entrepreneur Michael Zach-Lee believes he has coded the next big thing for college students. His new ProcrastiDate app combines the shallowness of Tinder with the convenience of GrubHub with the banality of BuzzFeed quizzes.
According to Zach-Lee, users log in with their Facebook accounts and make a GrubHub order. While waiting for food, users take BuzzFeed quizzes to find out important psychological questions such as “Which Red Power Ranger Are You?” After the quizzes, the app uses various complicated algorithms to match you to someone with similar tastes. If you don’t like their physical appearance, simply swipe left. After all, who wants the “Dino Charge” red Power Ranger when you can have the classic “Mighty Morphin’” kind?
“I know the three-step process can seem daunting, but I’m already using other apps while I wait for a food order,” stated Zach-Lee. “Everyone else making apps just recycles pre-existing ones. Well, I’m making one that people will actually use.”
Testing for the new app has gone well and reviewers have rejoiced in its convenience. Nursing junior Lana Peterson stated, “I have food, the cutest Power Ranger, and someone to cuddle with. What more could I want?”