Have you missed as many movies as I have this semester? Well fear not, for the Punchbowl presents this year’s Film Haikus.

Fifty Shades of Grey

The quickest way to

Find someone masturbating

At the cinema

Interstellar

Matt McConaughey

Loves his daughter a lot but

His son? Not really

Jupiter Ascending

Megan Fox is hot

Channing Tatum is hot too

Sean Bean doesn’t die

Foxcatcher

The only question

Where did they put Steve Carrell’s

Eyebrows? AH! Gunshot!

Furious 7

I definitely

Cannot make jokes about this

Refrigerator

The Fault in Our Stars

Aw man get ready

Gonna get so fucking sad

So fucking pumped dude

American Sniper

Yay America

Freedom and eagles and shit

I own a Chevy