PHILADELPHIA- This beautiful spring weather brings sun, allergies, and for some women, the renewed desire to prove that they are not, in fact, a Longchamp bag-toting, Canada Goose-wearing basic bitch. These “acidic bitches” may have succumbed to one pumpkin spice latté during those cold-to-the-bone winter months, but you wouldn’t know from their Instagram feed, unless they “ironically” hashtagged it #basic. That Lo-Fi filter is all locally owned, free-trade Columbian black coffee from some café you’ve never heard of.

Junior Mary Parker said, “I always thought I was a #basic bitch, but I now I see that I was just fooling myself into thinking I was mainstream. I’ve been acidic all along. No hashtag.”

Other signs that you may be an acidic bitch include wearing a flower-crown on a Friday (not to be confused with wearing a flower-crown during Fling, which is #basic). Additionally, you might insert the phrase ”oh my god have you about [arbitrarily cool thing]” into every other sentence.

Senior Liz Stanton, said, “My ph level is definitely more like a 4. Oh, we’re not talking about our chem lab project? Then what are we using these silly labels for?”