Hey bros and chicks! it’s time for your favorite frat bros to share some lit tips on how to save that paper. Usually we would make you do a kegstand to learn this information, but we have to do philanthropy, so this is for free. Yeah we are all broke college students, but some of us are better at being broke than others and, well, we are the best. Anyway dudes here is some advice, use it wisely or whatever.
- Steal your friend’s Netflix
Your friend’s mom can pay for that. Dude, why does everyone need his or her own Netflix if you can just have your own account on someone else’s Netflix. This is basic finance. Get with the program and watch all ten seasons of the office.
- Don’t wash your sheets
Pssh sheets don’t even get dirty, and if they did then why would you wash them just to get them dirty again? It’s simple logic. Call it broscience, but I’m pretty sure that if you shower after the gym, before bed then you cant get the sheets dirty anyway. Don’t waste your money on laundry.
- Protein powder is a meal replacement
It’s cheaper than real food and gets you the gainz. Gainz are what are really important anyway. On that note, don’t waste money on vegetables. Protein powder comes from them and is more nutritiously protein-filled (the only nutrient that matters) anyway.
- Shop during sale seasons
This should be common sense. Chubbies and JCrew have great sales. Buy your pastels in the off-season.
That was a joke by the way: pastels have no off-season. They are good all year round, just like protein.
- Nab some dope free food at OCR info sessions
A job at Wall Street and free food? Sign me up, boys. Get your suit on and send your your resume from an official email like Ilove2party69@hotmail.com not your old dumb email, Johnnyboy96@gmail.com. Then get your bulk on. Stock up on the refreshments so you can bulk enough to make dear old Arnold Schwarzenegger proud.
- Throw parties instead of paying for central heating
People love sweaty parties. Nothing screams, “that party was sick yo” like being drenched in your own sweat. The good news is that parties get hot and sweaty all by themselves. So when you get cold in the winter, don’t touch that thermostat, just throw a party! Pretty soon the house will be nice and toasty.