How to Maintain Self-Esteem When You AREN’T Cat Called

Let me start by saying, I am so sorry this happened to you. Men are truly the worst. I too have experienced this humiliation, and the confusion and self-doubt and low self-esteem I suffered afterwards were all very real. Your feelings right now are valid. But you will be OK.

The first thing you need to do is pull yourself up off the ground, tug your shirt so that it hangs lower on your chest and remind yourself that men will always see you primarily as a sex object. One day, or one night, of not being cat-called does not take that away from you. Men will always want to have sex with you and all of your orifices. Do not worry about that.

The second thing you need to do is walk with confidence and avoid eye contact with any men you pass. This may sound counterintuitive to you, after all you crave more of their attention and not less of it, but there is something about a woman just going confidently about her day that really arouses these guys. The more confidently you walk, the more likely it is that a man will think you need his validation.

Remember all of the times you thought you looked awful and were still cat-called. Think about that time in the grocery store when you hadn’t showered in three days and were wearing a torn tee shirt and that old man looked up and down and whistled at you. Reflect on the day you decided to wear shorts even though you couldn’t remember the last time you shaved, and you were too tired to put on deodorant, or even put an outfit together, so you left the house in sweatpants and that guy asked if you could guess how big his dick was. Replay that morning you were carrying your dog’s shit in your hand, wearing pajamas, had dirt on your face from gardening and your neighbor said, “You look like the type of messy girl who likes dirty sex. Why don’t you get dirty with me?” No one can take those memories away from you.

I promise, you will be ok! And you will be cat-called when you are least expecting it!

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