PHILADELPHIA – The University of Pennsylvania’s sole remaining literary society–the Philomathean Society–is seeing record interest from Wharton students. From 2021 to 2023, the number of Wharton students applying to join the society grew 37% year-on-year, in 2024 this number shot up to 54%.

Philo–typically home to people whose majors relegate their job prospects to reheating sandwiches at Starbucks–might at first seem like the unusual target of interest from Penn’s most bloodthirsty, little capitalists. However, the Wharton students PunchBowl interviewed said that it is about more than just Finance bros suddenly getting interested in comparative literature or art criticism to impress a girl at Williams Cafe.

“We are actually quite interested in the pre-professional opportunities of Philo,” Kumar Singh W‘26 said. Singh told PB that many of his Wharton friends were either also applying to Philo or were considering doing so next term.

Singh mansplained to PB that there were in effect two types of pre-professional activities important for the resumes of Whartonites: pre-professional pre-professional activities and non-pre-professional pre-professional activities, with Philo fitting into the latter category.

Pre-professional pre-professional activities are, of course, the normal activities one participates in to signal to potential employers one’s interest in and commitment to the noble causes–the world could not bear to lose–of financial services and consulting. They include your consulting clubs; your finance clubs; and any clubs whose name includes “Wharton” but whose membership is 95% College students, desperate to get that word somewhere on their resumes.

On the other hand, non-pre-professional pre-professional activities, Singh explained, are those clubs that one participates in to signal to potential employers that they do more than just participate in clubs meant to signal something to potential employers. They are clubs meant to demonstrate that one has interests beyond making money. These interests are, of course, fake and carefully manufactured with the aid of Wharton’s career services. They include thematically-based activities such as philosophy clubs, art groups, or literary societies.

Jamie Goldstein, Director of Wharton’s career services, told PB that it is important for Wharton students to curate these faux-interests on their resumes. He explained that “it is important to signal to employers that you know what books are and that, if asked to, you would be able to read one.”

“We recommend that students pick one area–plays of the Classics, French philosophy, British political theory, Italian art, etc.–and to get familiar enough to be able to mention the subject in their LinkedIn about section or to casually name-drop during interviews.”

Goldstein explained that the goal is to ensure his students are totally insufferable along multiple dimensions. Not only because they are Wharton students but also because they parade around their ‘outside’ interests in a belief that it makes them niche and elevated vis-à-vis everyone else.

“Humanities students have nailed this [being insufferable] to a tee, and we are just trying to learn from them,” he said.

Humanities students have long smoked outside of Williams Hall telling themselves that their reading of Camus or Deleuze makes them better than the rest of the population who, instead of worrying about post-structuralism as they do, are instead focused on such frivolous concerns as how to make rent this month. “This is the disdain that Wharton students are also hoping to emulate,” Goldstein added.

One Wharton student who is currently a member of Philo, who agreed to speak under the condition of anonymity, detailed what it was like to be a member of the society.

“It’s so unbelievably boring,” they said, “I just go on my phone or computer until attendance is taken, then I quickly leave. I hate being in a room with people who talk about such stupid [topics] as politics or philosophy–it’s all nonsense I can’t stand.”

Nathan Li W’25, who recently completed his application to Philo, said he hopes acceptance into the society will complement other aspects of his resume. Namely, his minor in History.

Everyone knows at least a dozen College students who are getting minors in either Consumer Psychology or Legal Studies so they can say they ‘technically’ studied in Wharton. Well, it appears that the same is true of Wharton students who rack up minors in Philosophy, History, or Art History so as to say that they ‘technically’ explored interests otherwise beneath them and blessed some poor seminar class in Fisher – Bennett with their glorious presence.

“My minor plus clubs like Philo will really set me apart when I apply for PJT or KKR… Or at least until they get to the applicants from Harvard who actually concentrated in English or Art History and who don’t need to pretend in order to be interesting.”

PB asked both Singh and Li if they would ever consider pursuing something purely out of personal passion–with no guarantee that it would help or even go on their resumes. Singh physically assaulted the interviewer after this question while Li simply got up and left, whispering epithets under his breath on the way out. – PUNCHBOWL

This is a work of fiction, any resemblance to actual entities; events; locales; or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.