Breaking: A Girl Is Tired

New reports coming from beneath the comforter of an extra-long twin bed located in Lauder College House have confirmed that a girl is tired. She is more tired than you, and everyone you know. In her defense, she claims this is her 400th year of college classes.

“Go, away. I am trying to nap,” she said when asked to comment on her state of mind. “No, seriously I just want to sleep. Leave me alone.” When she was reminded that she agreed to do this interview weeks ago, she promptly pulled out her planner and showed the reporter all of the activities she had previously scheduled for this evening. “I’m not doing any of these things either. I am REALLY tired. Please leave.”

After it became clear that this girl was really too tired to talk with us, we decided to interview her roommates.

“Oh? She’s here? She’s in the dorm right now? I thought she went home for the weekend. I haven’t seen her in days.”

We expressed concern and asked if she may be depressed.

“No, definitely not. I know that she exercises in the morning and I can hear her eating and typing. I think she’s just really tired. She’s a senior, you know?”

Unfortunately the interview had to end there because our head reporter was revealed to be THAT TIRED GIRL and needed to nap before going to work that evening.


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