Prepare to be amazed by what I have achieved from the toilet while others waste their time and fail to match my level of productivity.

I have:

1. Made networking and family calls because that’s the only way to fit calls to important people into my schedule
2. Broken up with my significant other over text
3. Eaten an entire &pizza for dinner
4. Cleaned the shower from my position on the toilet
5. Combed/Fixed up my hair.
6. Turned in my CIS 110 assignment a minute before the deadline
7. Sexted my TA or another classmate over Piazza
8. Submitted my application for the coveted Goldman Sachs internship (which I later got)
9. Matched on Tinder with my formal date
10. Taken a cat nap

Bonus: 11. Written this article– find inspiration wherever you can.