Op-Ed: How I Got MERTed During Bio Lab

I don’t know if you’ll agree with me or find this story relatable, but the following is an honest, vetted account of my recent life experience.

So, the story begins at the beginning of this semester when I bought my first tub of guacamole from Gourmet Grocer. This tub of pure deliciousness took me only three days to finish. But the next day, I was still craving guacamole so I bought another tub. This one only took me two days to finish.

Soon after, I found myself not wanting to eat any other food other than guacamole, so the situation escalated to the point where I was buying two tubs a day, and eating nothing but this guacamole sent and mashed directly from the heavens.

I reached a point where I was literally eating the guacamole out of the tub with a spoon because I didn’t want to adulterate the taste of guacamole with chips. My friends and family were worried about me, but I was busy doing school work while enjoying my guacamole.

This week, I had my BIOL 124 Renal Function Lab, which is a urinalysis lab to test kidney function. Basically, i peed in a cup and then stuck a strip of paper into it that changed colors. When I tested my urine, I found I had a very high amount of ketones in my blood. My TA was so concerned about my condition that they immediately called MERT. After a long conversation, it came out that all I’d been consuming for the last month was an exorbitant amount of guacamole, so they referred me for multiple appointments at SHS.

That’s the story of how my hankering and undying love for guacamole got me MERTed at 2:30 PM on a Monday afternoon.

P.S. I hope you love guacamole, but hope this’ll  never happen to you. Eat a KitKat once in a while instead.

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