Students all across Penn are having a tough time adjusting to online classes and advising, with one noteworthy exception: as it turns out, Wharton students seem to be thriving off of the chaos and impersonal nature that has enveloped the recruiting process. Already completely foreign to the concepts of empathy, decency, and genuine human connection, Wharton students adapted quickly in March to the lockdown with a flurry of “I hope this finds you well in these uncertain times” networking emails. To be fair, Wharton students have always had trouble relating to the hardship of others, often commenting instead on all the small joys in life that someone can cut out of their budget.

Jake Washington III commented on the ease of which the recruiting process has been for him. “I really thought that it was going to be hard and stressful, but I’m honestly having the time of my life! I thought I was going to have to sit in a room with a bunch of wannabe’s and talk to unimportant people, but now I can just skip all of that and talk to my dad’s golfing buddies instead. Who cares about demonstrated interest and networking with ‘nobodies,’ when I can have my resume flown over HR. And Interviews? Pshhh, those are the easiest things ever now. They don’t even have to ignore my mess ups now that I have my personal tutor sitting behind the computer at all times.”

Naturally, the rise in online recruiting has led to an explosion of LinkedInfluencers that have been dominating the social scene. Massive thankful posts are the new random trip to Aruba and flaunting your connections has never been more in fashion. Washington III noted how the ability to show how his life was going allowed him to destress. “I was worried I wasn’t going to be able to show everyone my new custom suits, but posting about my meetings with the usual MD’s has proven far more relaxing, as I can see that no one else posted something similar.”