This year, Punch Bowl has worked hard to bring about the first ever Penn (not Penn affiliate) Divorce Pact!
What is it?
50% of marriages end in divorce. Why be anxious of an almost inevitable event? The Penn Divorce Pact is here to give you the perfect backup plan: take our questionnaire and we’ll find you the best person to divorce when you’re 50 and look up from your life realizing that the person you once loved doesn’t exist anymore. Don’t be afraid of divorce, seize it before it seizes you!
How does it work?
The Divorce Pact utilizes complex non compatibility questions and an algorithm based on things the programmer learned in STAT112. The pact will match you with one person at Penn you’d have a high chance of initially tolerating before realizing that you can’t stand them.
- The marriage may be gone but the double legacy you’ve secured for your kids remains!
- Prenups are often awkward to bring up. But if divorce is premeditated, there’s nothing awkward about it.
- Putting the work into making a relationship work seems like a lot of work. With Penn Divorce Pact, you can throw your energy into other things without worrying that a relationship won’t pan out. It won’t!
- Is she cheating on me? Who knows! Who cares!
Sample Questions (Answers WILL be sent to your matches to speed up the divorce)
- Who is your favorite 1D member? Liam Payne or Louis Tomlinson?
- Why did you not vote in the 2020 election and how does that make you a better person actually?
- Describe the ways in which you have an avoidant attachment style.
- What passive aggressive means can you use to communicate displeasure to your partner?
- Should we put pineapple inside the pizza crust?
- Why is French New Wave Cinema the ideal date movie genre?
- Your boss promises you a raise if you throw your partner into a pit of snakes. How many snake are acceptable to ensure your partner receives a quick and painless death?